Long weekend. The most boring long weekend ever. I was supposed to go out tomorrow but due to some circumstances that's beyond my control, I'll stay at home. This is boring. And frustrating. and disappointing. Some things cannot be just easily blamed because as I said earlier, it's beyond my control. I planned it for a long time but with just a snap... hmmhhmm... I'm lonely. I just feel that I am always deprived of everything. Or is it planned? It's like trying out how long my patience is. I don't know. But it's really lonely being on my shoes. Maybe this what you get when you plan your life. This is what you get when you are so organized. But doesn't that help? Plotting out what you want to do so that at least you'll have a pattern on what's ahead of you? On my case, what's happening to me is the opposite of what I planned. I planned something and waited for it for a long time, then when it's about to happened, either something will came up or I myself will be changing the plans I made. It's very frustrating. I'm too tired to plan for my life... to plan for everything... that's why I hate uncertainties... it ruins my semi-organized life. I've had enough. I'll never plan my life again. Ever.

I'm glad that love works for everyone. Even it often fails me, at least everyone else is happily enjoying it.

I hate growing up. It only means more responsibilities, matured perspective, wide patience, and most painfully, deeper outlook in life. Not that I'm that shallow. Guess i'm too young , or immature to face life. Up to now, people still think that i'm a child. Physically speaking, yes I do look like a child. But mentally and emotionally speaking, I dont. I still act like a kid. And thinks like a kid. This is a torture...