kagaya ng climate...

May 19, 2008
9:40 pm

Once again, I feel so sad. Aalis na naman si mami bukas. Ngayon palang nalulungkot nako kasi 4 days na naman xang wala. I'm such a mama's girl! hahaha. Gusto ko sana xa hatid 'til sa airport kaso ayaw nya kasi baka magkanda ligaw ligaw lang ako pauwi so wag na lang daw. Ang sad lang kasi mag-isa na naman akong matutulog ng 4nights. Basta, ang sad sad ko.

Off topic. I feel like I'm such a failure. First my job, next myself 'tos sunod yata pati lovelife ko. Ang dami ko ng napapabayaan. hahaha l-o-s-e-r talaga ano pa nga ba. I'm a loser kasi loser na nga ko pinapabayaan ko pang lalo kong maging loser. I can't find ways to improve myself. I'm not as productive and active as before (haha as if active talaga no). Ang dami dami dami daming bagay kong na oover look. Bakit nga kaya. Siguro nga nagbago na'ko. Haha drama.

Lalo tuloy akong nalulungkot.

What's new nelly??? such an emoooooo

killing me softly

May 13, 2008
5:45pm

Ang dami ko na sigurong ginagawa ngaun kung di ko iniwan yun.

OMG I'm so depressed. kanina ko pa iniiyakan yung malaking bagay na nawala sa'kin. Why did I let it go?? I should've not gave it up. But I know I have no choice. Take it or I have to pay for it in the end. Many would have grabbed that chance yet me, I've chosen to leave it.

Now, I'm nothing again. The other day I'm on the top, the next day I'm back being B-U-M.

Ayoko ng ganito waaaaa nakakaiyak talaga 'tong nangyayari na'to sakin. I'm a one big of a loser!!!! Kill me in an instant, ayoko ng inuunti unti. I don't want to suffer in slower way. I want it fast!! UTANG NA LOOB!!!

my night

May 10, 2008
11:25pm

Just wanna have my emo time at this right of time. Since imma bit sleepy so before I bid my goodnight it's better to let this thought be spilled. Anyway, something happened this morning that somewhat changed my mood. But not that it ruined my mood. It just put me into realization that maybe I'm that really *off limits* to his family. I dunno. As I said that's my realization, and I'm still not sure about it.

I wanna forget all about it. But thinking that I wanna build my future with him, I just can't ignore it. People can really be irrational sometimes. I sometimes wanna blame myself why I am treated like this, but thinking that people tend to be judgmental when they found out something 'out of the ordinary' and suddenly treats you the opposite way you wanna be treated, that's unfair. I mean, who are you to judge people when you know yourself isn't perfect? I get 'laitera' sometimes but I don't get to the point wherein I go below the belt.

Oh well, I'll be starting my work on Monday and getting busy would be a great idea to put aside those sucky things I've been thinking this past few days (or months)

Hope he'll be ok tomorow. That'll be so over acting if she gets too hard on her own son. If she doesn't trust herself on how she raised her siblings, then better not have siblings at all. Is that easy. (this is just an opinion). It really gets into my nerves.

Anyway, goodluck to me on Monday.

=)

ang haggard ko lately. sobrang paspasan ko inasikaso mga requirements ko for work and parang nananadya pa talaga na ang daming naging hindrances bago ko makuha ung ilan sa mga requirements ko. Pero thank God na naging ok naman lahat and right now am just praying to finally get started with the job na. I feel mixed emotions. As my first job sakali, I don't know what to expect on my first day. Kinakabahan ako na naeexcite. Pero sana maging ok lahat.