no strings attached

For 18 years of my life, I've realized that I never experienced having any serious relationship, romantically speaking. I do have boyfriends but I can't call that "serious". Matatawag mo bang seryoso ang isang relationship kapag di kayo nagkikita kahit magkapit-bahay kayo? oh di kaya sobrang layo nyo sa isa't-isa at halos once in a blue moon lang kayo magkita? It sucks.... Really, I'm just wondering why is that so...

I'm unattached as of now. Hmm one year if I'm not mistaken. Hindi ako impokrita para hindi aminin na naghahanap ako ng boyfriend. Pero hindi ako desperada. If there is no someone outhere na para sa'kin, well siguro di pa talaga ngayon yon. Pero sa totoo lang naiinip na ko. I want to see that someone as soon as possible, kung pahihintulutan lang. I often see couples, usually sa jeep or sa mga malls, holding hands, o kahit hindi holding hands eh masaya naman sila habang nagkukwentuhan ng kung anu-ano. Corny as it sounds but naiinggit ako. Minsan I can't help but think, ako ba talaga ang may problema? Nasa akin ba ang dahilan kung bakit naiintimidate sila sakin? ganun na ba ka grabe ang pagkasuplada ko? Do you think its a big problem kung di ko kayang makipag-usap sa mga lalaki? kung di ko kayang maging nice kapag kinakausap nila ako? or kahit yung hindi ko kayang mag-open ng conversation whenever I've got a chance to talk to the guy I like? Problema ko ba talaga yun? Or let's talk about physical aspects, Is it my fault kung pinanganak akong kulang sa kagandahan? or not smart, witty or whatever that goddamn qualities na pilit na hinahanap ng mga bullshit na yan. Im not mad naman di ba? Wala naiinis lang ako, kasi feeling ko nga nasakin ang problema at ayoko lang aminin sa sarili ko yun kaya ako naiinis.

Pero sabi nga ni Sam Milby eh, "don't look for love, It'll find you"

*laughs sarcastically* Sana totoo

la lang

Nalulungkot ako.... Babalik na si daddy bukas sa Oman. Wala lang, I'm just sad. I've been crying a lot nga lately eh. Though every year eh ummui sya, nalulungkot pa rin ako. It's not that I'm making drama noh, nalulungkot lang talaga ako. Ang bait kasi ng daddy ko eh kaya eto for sure ma-mimiss ko na naman siya.... yun lang naman....

sadness

At Last! Naayos na rin tong pc namin!! Ilang buwan ko ding hinintay ang moment na ito at sa wakas ay dumating na din! Mabuhay mabuhay! Sa wakas dahil hindi ko na kelangan pang dumayo sa mga computer shops para lang mag-type no! haayy ang lungkot lang kasi hindi ko ma-install tong bagong cd na binili ng dad ko. Ok na sana tong pc eh, di ko lang alam kung anong problema at di to maka read ng cd... tsktsktsk.... bad trip talaga...

Malungkot din ako kasi next week (tuesday) aalis na dad ko... tapos wala pa ko dito sa bahay nun kasi madami activities sa skul at nagboboard ako. Hindi ako makakasama sa airport. Ang lungkot naman... eneweiz start ng Monday ay tambak na naman ang gagawin ko. I'm very frustated pa dahil ang bababa ng grades ko ngayong prelims. I don't think na makakahabol pa ko but I hope kaya ko pa. Lagi ko ngang line eh "sus ok lang yan, prelims pa lang naman eh" ayan na prelims nga ko. Leche pa yung world Lit nmin, isa pang paimportante feeling naman nya major subject! Shit talaga! Zero ba naman ako?? Ano kaya yun?? basta ang lungkot ko. Yung stat ko pa pahirap na ng pahirap Eh sobrang hina ko talaga sa math na kahit anong turo pa sakin eh talagang slow ako pumick up. Ha! good luck na lang sakin.

Arrghhh.... basta nalulungkot ako yun lang.

Incomplete

Oh great... It's been quite a long time since I last dropped by... well It's just that my pc is not yet ok that's why I have to rely on computer shops just to update this, even in doing my projects, assignments, especially my friendster! I really miss my blog! Actually there are lots of important events happened this past fews days that I missed to share with you guys, but as I was saying I've no time to put it here because of my "broken" pc and very busy schedule. And I have to say this... It's great to be back! =)

Last Jan 7, my friend Jaja celebrated her 18th birthday at Blumen Orca (it's a resort actually). Of course I'm there, with some of my fellow journ friends. I'm having second thoughts at first to go there because I thought my dad was going back to Oman this week, but after finding out that it was not until next week, I was able to go. And it was fun and I will surely regret that day if I'm not able to go.

*sighs* though I've got so many things to say, It all stuck in my mind. I don't know how tell all of it Ha! ha! ha! Eneweiz... till next post and I promise to tell the whole datails of my life (as if someone is interested...)

Ciao! =)